Nigel’s Sensible (and Only Mildly Bossy) Terms & Conditions

For the Purchase & Performance of My Pantomime Scripts

Hello, you lovely theatrical humans. These Terms & Conditions exist to keep everything running smoothly, avoid awkwardness, and ensure that no one accidentally summons the Ghost of Licensing Past.

By purchasing a script or performance licence from me, you agree to the following cheerful but important bits:

1. Definitions (The Boring Bit, But Short)
• “Script” = The words, jokes, stage directions, and general silliness I’ve written.
• “Licensor” = Me, the writer, keeper of the jokes, and occasional Twix eater.
• “Licensee” = You, the fine group putting on the show.
• “Performance” = Any public showing of the script, whether ticketed, free, charity event or performed to an audience of confused pensioners who wandered in by mistake.

2. What You’re Actually Buying
• Your licence is non exclusive (others may perform it too) and non transferable. (You can’t hand it to your second cousin’s drama club).
• It covers the specific dates, venue, and number of performances you’ve booked.
• Want to add extra shows? Lovely! Just let me know and we’ll sort it.

3. Payment (The “Let’s Keep It Simple” Rule)
• Your licence becomes valid only when payment has been received.
• Until then, please don’t rehearse, cast, advertise, or announce the show.
• Think of it like a magic spell: The licence doesn’t “activate” until the gold coins have clinked.

4. Script Use (Please Don’t Let It Escape Into the Wild)
• Scripts are for your cast and crew only.
• No sharing, forwarding, uploading, or releasing into the internet like a flock of startled pigeons.
• Future productions require a new licence, even if you’ve memorised all the jokes.

5. Alterations & Ad Libbing (A Friendly Word…)
• Please perform the script as written, unless I’ve given permission for changes.
• Traditional panto ad libs, local references, and the odd topical joke are usually fine, just don’t rewrite whole scenes or remove characters without checking.
• If unsure, ask. I don’t bite.

6. Advertising & Credit (My Moment in the Programme)
• Please credit me clearly as the author in all publicity, posters, programmes, and online listings.
• No advertising until the licence is paid, otherwise it’s like announcing a wedding before anyone’s proposed.
• Any artwork I provide must not be altered, remixed, or used for future productions.

7. Recordings & Livestreams (The “No YouTube Surprises” Clause)
• A video licence is included free, but you must include a reference to myself to make me feel a little important. This credit should read: “Written by Nigel Holmes. www.pantomimepantomime.co.uk”.

8. Extra Materials (If I Send You Goodies…)
If I provide posters, or other extras:
• They’re for your production only.
• No reusing, reselling, or adapting them for future shows.
• Treat them like props from the props cupboard: Useful, but not to be taken home.

9. Changing Dates or Venue
• Need to shift dates or move venue? No problem. Just let me know.
• Changes must be agreed in writing.
• Extra performances require extra fees (sadly, I haven’t found a way around that).

10. Cancellations & Refunds
• Refunds are at my discretion.
• Once scripts or digital materials have been sent, I may retain part or all of the fee.
• Cancelled productions don’t automatically roll over to next year, but we can always chat.

11. Liability (The Sensible Bit)
• I’m not responsible for venue issues, production costs, safety, or third party rights (e.g., music, props, pyrotechnics, or the Dame’s wig).
• You are responsible for ensuring your production complies with all relevant rules and regulations, including music copyright and performing rights.

12. Governing Law
These Terms & Conditions are governed by the laws of England and Wales, with a light dusting of fairy tale logic.

13. Contact
All permissions, questions, and friendly messages should be sent to: nigel@pantomimepantomime.co.uk